30 June 2011

It's been a while since we wrote our first update on our little one. A lot has happened in the past month and a half. Actually, we can describe it as the well-known rollercoaster, both medically and emotionally.

After hearing the news that our baby has an open diaphragm, we were quite upset. All kinds of percentages were thrown around and, as parents-to-be, you just take that for granted. At the same time, we always mentioned 'medically speaking' with all the percentages because, of course, we try to see it from God's perspective.

The week after we heard the news, a gynaecologist told us that the lung content would not suddenly drop by 10%, so we need not fear that. But, two weeks later, it had. We were very shocked by this, but the doctor said it could also be a measurement error. Hoping for that measurement error, we came back again two weeks later. Unfortunately, the lung contents turned out to be at 31% after all, 10% less than the first measurement. This immediately gave a very different perspective, as we were now closer to a major 'danger zone' (below 25% is not good). If the lung content shrank further and fell below that 25%, the doctors gave an option to deliver our baby earlier, but that's still an option they'd rather not go for. However, there is an alternative treatment option where prenatal surgery is done to increase the lung content. The doctors only called this 'choosing between two evils'.

We are also faced with all sorts of terrible choices. What if... and what do you want if... Questions in which we would have to decide on our little one's life, and of course we don't want that at all. Choices that regularly confuse and sadden us.

What we are very grateful for is that our baby's physical condition is otherwise 'perfect'. He/she is growing well and all other organs and physical aspects are fine, just as they should be in a healthy baby. Therefore, it becomes less likely that it is a chromosomal abnormality. (Then our baby would not be viable at all)

What we are praying for now is that the lung content will continue to develop well and especially not shrink. We now have an appointment with the gynaecologist every two weeks and an extensive ultrasound where they also measure the lungs. Therefore, every ultrasound and check-up is exciting again.

We are otherwise doing well. We are both healthy and enjoying the little frump, who is getting busier by the day and more and more noticeably present. But while I can focus on one thing fairly easily at work, this is a lot harder for Marieke because she feels the little one more and more and thinks about it more. We both notice that we have rather little energy and therefore need to (learn to) divide our time better. Saying no and setting priorities is still a learning curve 🙂 .

But we keep saying, "under the circumstances we are doing well". Of course we have some lesser moments but it remains special to notice how God is present in this situation and also gives us the peace we need in this.

Of course, the hope also remains high that the gynaecologist will say; "Your baby is perfectly healthy, nothing is wrong!". At the same time, we continue to pray; "Your will be done".